It’s Not How You Feel, It’s How You Behave

When I left the house this afternoon to do some shopping, I knew I didn't feel like being very friendly. However, it was foremost in my mind that our behavior shouldn't be determined by how we feel. Somewhere in the past couple weeks (I'm thinking the pastor said something his sermon) I got the message that worship is not necessarily about how we feel. We may not feel like being obedient, but we must still obey. We may not feel like being friendly, but we must still behave in a Christian manner. We may not feel joyful, but we must still give thanks and praise. I am glad that was in the front of my thoughts, because stores this time of year can be madhouses, and I was able to respond with smiles and "that's alright" when I was cut off in aisles or bumped into by kids, rather than being grumpy.

This morning Jeff took the older 2 boys with him to run some errands. Tyler went out to the car, and then came running back in the house yelling that somebody had stolen his bike. Jeff, Travis, and Tyler all went out to look all around the yard, but the truth was somebody had indeed stolen Tyler's bike. It's 3 days before Christmas, we have nothing under our tree, and the boy's bike is gone.

Tyler bucked up as best he could and went with his Dad and brother. I called Rainbow to cry on her shoulder, figuratively. I also told Rainbow about the incident that took place Sunday morning…when I stayed home from church because of a sore throat. Tommy and I dozed on the couch until about 11, when I woke up suddenly with the thought that I needed to lock the backdoor. I always have the doors locked, even when we're home. Jeff and the older boys hadn't locked it behind them when they left for church, so I went ahead and locked it. Somewhere between 11:30 and noon the doorknob rattled like somebody was opening the door. Tommy ran for the door yelling "Daddy, Daddy" with the intention of opening the door. I knew it wasn't time for Jeff to be back, so swept Tommy up and looked out the window by the door. There was nobody there, no car in the driveway but ours. Whoever had been trying to open the door was gone. Thank you, Lord, for telling me to lock the door. What would've happened if they had walked in and there had been a confrontation? Do they know our routine, and fully expect us to be gone to church? Who were they and what did they want?

After talking to Rainbow, I sat down and sobbed. Part of me feels an enormous amount of grief over the losses we've had this year. It's been a financially and emotionally draining year for us. Materialistically things have been horrible. Emotionally, well, let's say family members have shown their true colors. It's just been rough. I was feeling vulnerable, scared, and like there's no sense of security here. Then I remembered I was told to lock the door, I remembered that God provided this home when we needed it, I remembered that He has provided for us all along and that He has things under control. After having a good cry, I went to the computer where I sent out an e-mail with a prayer request and posted to Facebook my frustrations and request for prayer.

Jeff and the boys came home, we did our chores, and then I took the boys to meet friends at the roller rink. I began to count our blessings, not material blessings, but relationships: Friends from school that I haven't seen in almost 20 years but still bring smiles or tears; friends from church who know they can rely on me if they need me and whom I know I can rely on also; friends from scouts who are becoming friends away from scouts; friends from friends; and family who are truly friends as well. I have enjoyed the company of many people these past couple months who probably don't know how much I really appreciated their time, even though I tried to tell them.

Shari, a friend, was a sponsor for Kitsap Mortgage Team's client appreciation event tonight. They rented Olympic Cinemas and showed The Princess and the Frog in all the theatres. There were goodie bags, door prizes, etc... Travis, Tyler, and I went to that tonight. We had great seats smack dab in the middle of the theatre. Shari's mother-in-law sat with us, and that was nice…a good sense of belonging and sense of past. After all, Carol has known me for 26 years, since her son and my brother were good friends back at Manchester Elementary. She sat next to Travis, and I took a moment to appreciate that he is friends with her grandson….what a wonderful village we have at times.

After the movie I got to spend a few moments with Shari, to thank her for inviting us. I haven't spent any time with her in over a year, and realized today how very much I miss her. The boys went for a short drive and stopped at the grocery store. I asked Tyler if he'd had a good day, and he said "yes" with no hesitation, no sense of loss. I'm not foolish enough to think he's over his bike, but I was relieved to know that he seems to have his priorities in line. As much as we have lost materialistically this year, we have gained in time spent with loved ones. We have learned some life lessons, and we are probably a stronger family unit because of it. It is amazing to me how in one day I can go from grieving my losses to celebrating my blessings. God is truly good.

Merry Christmas Everyone! Remember the meaning of the holiday has nothing to do with what is under the tree, filling the stockings, or cooking in the kitchen—it's all about what's in your heart! God Bless!

Potato Condo

About.com: http://www.gardenfreshliving.com/2009/06/the-building-of-a-potato-condo.html

Melissa,

I saw this and thought of you, not sure why. I so want to grow my own potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, etc...

Hmmmmm…

I sat down to blog, because I had something to say………….then I got sidetracked. I have no idea what I thought might be halfway interesting enough to blog about.

Things have been pretty much normal around here. We had a good Thanksgiving with family. The house is clean, school has gone well, and Scouts has been fun. We put up a tree in the living room and a few other decorations around the house, but nothing too exciting this year, we just don't have the room for it.

I think Tyler is coming down with something, he's just not acting quite himself, and he took a nap this evening.

Tommy might be prepping for potty training, for the last 2 days he has pulled his diaper off and peed on the floor. Today I taught him how to use the toilet, and he's been running in there every few minutes to try. He's having fun with it and I'm not pressuring him. I do hope he'll stop peeing on the floor though.

Maybe I'll think of whatever I was going to say. If I do, I'll blog later.

Rough Day

It really was hard getting these boys going on school day today. They just didn't want to do it and it was irritating me that they weren't the least bit inspired to learn today. Meanwhile, 2-year old Tommy was getting into everything and adding to the frustration. He kept taking their papers, their pencils, climbing on the table, running off with their books, dumping out crayons, putting a little toy shark in the fish tank….he was into everything and it was driving me crazy!!! No, the irony of the situation wasn't lost on me; I was irritated with the oldest 2 for not being inquisitive enough, and frustrated by the little one for being too inquisitive. Isn't there a happy medium?

Tyler struggled for hours learning a new math skill. He just wasn't focusing, and we went over it a dozen different ways with different manipulatives and different strategies. In the end, he finally figured it out. I'm hoping it sticks with him for tomorrow's assignment.

Next week is Thanksgiving, and it looks like we're having the usual company. How we're all going to fit in this tiny little place still has me puzzled, but I'm sure we'll work it out somehow. The first Sunday of Advent is right after Thanksgiving, so I'll have to go dig my Christmas stuff out of storage. The tradition in our home is to decorate the day after Thanksgiving, sometimes starting on Thanksgiving evening if we're in the mood. I still haven't figured out where we're going to put anything.

My poor Scarebear has taken a beating this year by Tommy. I had him in the window for a few weeks, and occasionally on the table, but this last week he has landed on the kitchen counter and stayed there. I've probably left him there because he hasn't been on the floor as much this way. I love autumn, and am not in a hurry to see it go.

Things are going well. I'm enjoying my Wednesday night Bible study group. The scout groups are moving right along, Travis is going bowling on Saturday with his troop. This coming Sunday at church is the congregational Thanksgiving dinner, we're looking forward to that. Also on Sunday, I'm going to see that new Blind Side movie with some ladies from scouts; I'm looking forward to that too.

Have fun everyone!

I have been so busy….

I have been so busy; I had to come to the conclusion that I had spread myself too thin. I had to make a decision about which activities I was going to continue with, and which is I was going to give up. I gave up my position as nursery coordinator at church. I'm not sure everybody understands why, and I am sure it has caused some controversy, but I had to do what was best for my family and me.

Things got crazy busy with the start of the new school year and new program year. Scouts has kept us especially busy this year, or at least kept me especially busy. There was one stretch where I had something scout related to do every day for 2 weeks straight. Between popcorn sales, regular scout meetings, Boy Scout Committee meetings, Cub Scout Committee meetings, a parents meeting, a merit badge activity, and Boards of Review we managed to fit in youth group on Wednesday and have one Friday off.

We sold popcorn at Fred Meyers for 3 weekends in a row (Sept. 25-Oct. 11), a total of 7 days. The boys did very well, Tyler more than made the goal set for the boys in his pack, and Travis made enough to qualify for the camp scholarship from his troop. They should get their prizes at their respective Christmas parties in December.

We had one weekend off from popcorn (Oct. 16-18), and then went on a camp-out (Oct. 23-25). The Boy Scout troop invited the Webelos from the Cub Scout Pack on a weekend camp-out at Camp Parsons. The Webelos needed to have a parent/guardian attend with them, and as Jeff had to work that left me. So Travis, Tyler, and I packed our gear and went camping. It was actually a whole lot of fun, except for the part where we froze at night. I have decided to purchase fleece sleeping bag liners before the next camp-out.

The day after the camp-out we had a Pack meeting, which means awards. As the advancement chair it is my responsible to see to it that all of the awards are purchased and well organized. It has also fallen on me for the last 2 months to present the awards…yikes! Not really my thing, but I'm doing my best. I spent a bit of time on Tuesday and Wednesday this week creating new report forms for the den leaders to use each month and turn into me, trying to simplify things for everybody.

Last Wednesday Tyler's WOW! Church group went on a field trip to a local Bremerton fire station. Friday we carved pumpkins. Saturday was Halloween, so we were busy. Actually, I had Scout leader training that morning from 10:30-3:30. Travis worked the carnival at the church from 4:30-9:30. We took Tyler and Tommy to the carnival for a couple hours, then took them trick-or-treating in a friend's neighborhood. We only hit 5 houses in an hour because we kept running into people we knew and visiting with them. Oh well, it was a fun time.

Sunday we went to church, and then out to dinner at Scott and Amanda's house. Yes, I got them to invite us to dinner for a change. I hinted around about it for a month or two, and then finally was very bold. Amanda asked if she could borrow my tostado bowl maker and I told her we'd be glad to bring it if she'd just tell us what time to be there for dinner. That prompted her to set a date and time. She was obviously very nervous about having the in-laws over for dinner for the first time, and it didn't go off without a hitch, but it did go well. I just figured they have lived out here for 3 or 4 years now, eat dinners at my house 2-4 times each month, and it should be their turn. Anyway, it went well.

On Monday the Cub Scouts had a tour of a fire station in Port Orchard…the theme for the month, I guess. On Monday evening the Cub Scout Committee had a meeting while the Boy Scouts had their regular troop meeting. Tyler got to stay home, because the field trip took the place of a den meeting. The new secretary didn't show up, so I took the minutes and typed them up on Tuesday. On Tuesday the Boy Scouts had Boards of Review, I sat in on a couple of those. On Wednesday we all had our individual church activities. Tonight I went to the Boy Scout Committee meeting; I am the secretary so I took the minutes and will probably type them up tomorrow.

Somewhere in all my spare time we managed to take turns being sick for almost 2 weeks, do schoolwork, try to maintain the house, spend time with Jeff and Tommy, and find time to talk to Rainbow and chat online with Melissa. I realize that I have not blogged at all during this time, but I do hope you understand why.

This coming Monday is Tyler's birthday. We have scouts, so will probably take cookies for him to share with his den. He thinks we're going to have cake and ice cream Sunday evening after church, with just the immediate family. What he doesn't know is that I've arranged for his best buddy to come over on Saturday for a sleep-over. We'll go swimming at the pool in the early afternoon, and come home to a surprise party…cake, ice cream, pizza, balloons, presents…and then we'll do something in the evening (mini-golf, a movie….don't know yet, but we'll do something). I think he'll like that.

I'll post pictures soon. Take care everybody, and good night!