If I Still Smoked.....

I would so want a cigarette right now. That tells me I need a break. Funny thing is, I actually started by craving workout time....just 20 minutes and enough elbow room to get through one kick-butt, sweat-inducing, Turbo Jam workout. Not even the full 45 minute Cardio Party, just a quickie....but alas, it hasn't been meant to be. I thought it was funny that my mind kept going back to that over the last three or four days, until tonight. Tonight, it was the cigarette thought that hit me. Not that I actually craved a cigarette, just the few minutes of solitude and peace the smoke-break used to buy me. I guess my workouts had become my "me time" and that's why I was craving them.

This move has been hard, and we are not yet settled. It's one thing moving into a new home. It's something else entirely moving into a home that is not just already furnished, but stuffed to the gills. There is not one room that is safe for 20-month-old Tommy to play. I'm starting to lose track of all the stuff he is gotten into, gotten hurt on, or broken: shells, music boxes, a crystal rose, candy dishes (ate all the candy, broke the bowl), pins and needles, scissors, razor blades, garden clippers, he fell down the stairs (just the first 3, he's okay, but still.....)

I feel a little compassion for the folks who are annoyed at Tommy for getting into everything, but I feel tons of compassion for my little boy who is curious and has nothing he is allowed to do or no place he can safely play. Today we went for a walk so he could burn off some energy. We swim on Tuesdays and Thursdays, he likes that so far, but yesterday he was getting a bit too brave, pulling away from me to chase balls and the like....he wore me out. I would like to get a float of some kind so I don't have to hold him the whole hour.

I don't mean to complain so much....it's nice being so close to the church, shopping, the pool, etc... I love the high speed Internet. If we get stuff sorted through and put away this arrangement could really work well...it's just all the stuff that's bothering me. I want to fence in the back yard somehow so I don't have to be on guard every single second he's out there. It would be nice to get a swing set, sandbox, or playhouse of some type. I want a bedroom door. I want a safe place I can put Tommy down to play so I can finish unpacking our boxes. I want a closet I can hang Travis's clothes in so they can get off his bedroom floor. I want a place where I can get my kids settled to do their schoolwork.

Tomorrow I am running away to the ocean. Pacific Beach, to be more precise. That's where Travis is until Sunday, and I told him I would come visit him. I really need the break. It's a 3-hour drive each way, so I'll be logging some road time. I should get my MP3 player ready.

So, for those of you who are praying people, please pray for safe travel, peace, and a solution to my Tommy woes. Rainbow, thank you for listening when I needed to complain. Mom, thank you. Melissa, I miss you. My cell phone is on dual clock, so I always know what time it is where you are. For whatever reason, I tend to look at the phone when it's 2 a.m. your time....you don't want me calling then.

Good Night All!